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Post by Warlock on Aug 26, 2013 6:14:20 GMT -5
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Post by Kalisiin Kumaki on Aug 26, 2013 17:56:01 GMT -5
But it isn't a joke.
It's real. and it's epidemic. I've been there.
A few of the recommendations I would make to people in this position - they worked for me...
One, find a church, or other social club that fits your interests to which you can belong. It isn't hard to find information on the Internet about even the most obscure of churches...or stamp-collecting groups if that is your thing...or even model railroading.
The key there is to find a group open to the public...that does something of interest to you - where you will find and meet people with common interests. For me, it has always been helpful to find my local Democratic Club or County Democratic Headquarters...and just freaking volunteer to do anything!
I found my own people pretty quick. I moved to Austin, Texas - and, though I had lived there before and even graduated high school there...I was a very different person then than I was when I'd moved back.
So I went into the Travis County Democratic Headquarters, this was in May of 2000...and I told them to put me to work, doing absolutely anything. I told them...if getting you guys cups of coffee will help beat George Bush, then I'm your woman! I built friendships there and worked out.
I also joined a Unitarian Church, where I met more like-minded people.
Another thing which can be helpful is to get a dog. I'm not kidding...get a dog. You can be very connected to a dog...and it may give you some confidence back to actually build some connections with other people...and it gives you a few avenues with which to do it:
1. Even if you have a fenced back yard...take your dog for a walk on a leash. I guarantee you people will want to approach you because of your dog! You may not make any real friends, per se, this way, but it can help build your confidence to seek out future social interactions.
2. Likewise, if your community has a local dog park...take your dog there, and get to know fellow dog people. You just might make a few friends this way...and also you may build up some confidence.
There are many ways to combat loneliness, but, the first step is getting off your ass and DOING SOMETHING...which can sometimes seem a lot harder than it really is. Especially if you are getting up, set on the intention of meeting people and then you don't so you get disappointed.
Like I said, taking a dog to a dog park can be a great way to meet fellow dog people, if you are a dog person. And that one chance encounter could become a long friendship and lead to many other friendships.
It's tough to be the new kid on the block, no matter how old you are. But take it from someone who has moved many times in my life...and who therefore has had to rebuild their networks several times...these ideas honestly DO work!
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Post by Warlock on Aug 31, 2013 7:07:40 GMT -5
The title of my post was a joke; the rest of it, not so much.  I definitely look back at my life and realize that there's a lot of overlap between "times I felt depressed and stressed out all the time" and "Times I didn't really have IRL friends that I saw more than once every couple weeks." Regular human contact- with people who aren't my parents or co-workers- is something that it took me an embarrassingly long time to figure out I needed. - HC |
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Post by Kalisiin Kumaki on Aug 31, 2013 12:22:25 GMT -5
Yes, and it helps, eh, Warlock? You probably felt much better, mentally and physically...when you were getting some human contact.
I am something of a homegirl myself, more by choice than anything else...and for me a little society goes a long way...but it is good to have some.
I am having a Labor Day Party today at my place for a few friends. And like I told my mom...if you want to get invited places..you need to invite folks here.
I have a relatively small circle of friends, but they are good friends.
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